I know somebody may say this is lame. But anyway, these are just few facts I could notice about myself. This is from my point of view and I couldn't agree more that some people may see me from a different angle.
1) I don't drink milk or anything that looks or smells like milk. I vomit the last time I tried (or was forced actually). 2) I am okay in simple Mathematics but I'm bad in Physics which require understanding before calculations. I just can't do maths based on understanding. I passed my Maths in my school just because I memorized and followed the steps. I freak out every time I see numbers in my medical subjects. I’m not that radiant to be able to combine numbers and words. Is there any term such number-phobic?
3) My family always recognizes me as a careless person. CUAI!!! But it's the opposite when being around my friends. They usually recognize me as this systematic and meticulous person with all the details. I myself don't even know which one describes me better. 4) I hate myself when dealing with people. I tend to ignore people just because I will feel inferior when talking with people. Communication skills will always be my weakness. I think people have every right to hate me for my sorry behavior. 5) No matter how bad a movie is, as long as it's based on a true story, I will always enjoy and acknowledge it as a great production. I watched fictions and I ended up accusing the producers were cheating on me. It was like I was fooled. 6) My father is a smoker but never said anything about smoking. He neither allows nor forbids. I wonder what his reaction’s going to be IF he EVER found out his son too, is a smoker. Thank God I don’t do smoking. 7) I don’t do well in Physics and anything involving calculations. So I chose Medicine because Biology had the least calculations back in school. To be frank, my ambition ever since my primary school until Form 3 was to be a teacher. 8) I can easily get influenced and obsessed with something. 9) I never really remember the prices after I bought something. If any exceptions, I remembered them just because somebody would ask about it then I would have to prepare to please them with a real precise answer. 10) When I was 15, I realized I didn't know how to smile. Since then, I practiced smiling in front of mirrors. I stretched my mouth with my hand while practicing it. Can you believe it?
11) I think I'm emotionless. My teacher once stated that. This must have to do with my smiling disability. Is that an anomaly? 12) I had my first huge crush when I was 14. NO, nothing happened. You know me, keeping things to myself then suffers. Heh. 13) I love fishes more than other meats or even chickens. This must has to do with the way my family grew me up. We eat fishes every day. Chickens and Meats will be bought only for special occasion. I learnt to eat chicken when I was in the hostel. But I still have fishes on top of my list. 14) I'm an indecisive person. That's why I prefer being with decisive people so they can all rule things out for me. 15) I am a perfectionist in my way of working. But I’m just too concealed to show that. So I prefer working behind the scene. 16) I think I get mad hardly. Or if any, I don’t really express it. But I can get sad on little things easily. Sometimes I just don’t understand myself. I was angry on something, but I turned out expressing sadness and frustration. What does that mean actually? Maybe my angry gene has been mutated to express sadness. 17) I’m not really into games. So I just got movies, series and internet as distractions. 18) I acknowledge myself as a good team player but honestly, I don’t see myself as a team leader. I follow rules, I don’t do ruling. Maybe just don’t yet. 19) I talk crap when I’m stressed or kind of pissed off. I will just blow any words appear in my mind without thinking. If you ever feel like you’ve seen a different side of me talking too much, that was just the way I expressed my stressfulness. 20) I enjoy being a victim. Hell yeah. That’s absurd eyh? 21) I’m a loner. Or at least I believe it. It's not because I don't like people. I just don't like the presentation of myself in front of people. A self confident issue actually. 22) I have a thing with caps. I feel more confident walking with a cap on top of my head. Again, it’s a self confident issue.
23) I nearly got kicked out of my evening session religious school when in standard 5. I was 13. I guess I played truancy well enough just to be kicked out. My mother had to contact the officer at District Religious Office just to get me seated in the final exam. Thank God, it worked out and I graduated with 1st Grade. Then I successfully passed the Darjah Khas.
This is just a tribute to my hometown, Muar. eh. Tribute? Any word will do. haha... Please ignore any romantic crap you sense in the song. If any. I just want to focus on the coming-home theme. haha...
Another summer day has come and gone away in Paris and Rome but I wanna go home Home...
May be surrounded by a million people I still feel all alone Just wanna go home I miss you, you know
And I've been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you Each one a line or two I'm fine baby, how are you
I would send them but I know that it's just not enough My words were cold and flat and you deserve more than that
Another aeroplane another sunny place I'm lucky I know but I wanna go home I got to go home
Let me go home I'm just too far from where you are I wanna come home
And I feel just like I'm living someone else's life It's like I just stepped outside when everything was going right
And I know just why you could not come along with me This was not your dream but you always believed in me
Another winter day has come and gone away in either Paris or Rome and I wanna go home Let me go home
And I'm surrounded by a million people I Still feel alone Let me go home I miss you, you know
Let me go home I've had my run baby I'm done I gotta go home Let me go home It'll all be alright I'll be home tonight I'm coming back home
[bando Muo]
[bus station]
[a magnificient view from the river]
[a mosque just across the river]
credit goes to Wikipedia. LOL
p/s I strongly deny any attempt of saying this entry as some sort of home sick. The hell it's! haHHa!
I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: two roads diverged in a wood, and I -- I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.
- Robert Frost
This rutted route, I'm well aware of the snubbed ground I'm standing on. One more smile I fake, I'm a plastic. One more notch I make, Then I'm a broken plastic.
If a broken plastic is what I'm destined to become, so be it. If surrender is the word, then let it be so.
Exhausted by this perpetual fight, the continuous vexation is no longer a choice. It was an option which later became the fate.
Millions of copies of it are in circulation. Day and night, it is ceaselessly recited. In homes, in mosques, and from pulpits. Voluminous exegetical works exist expounding its meaning. Words pour out incessantly to explain its teachings and to exhort us to love by it.
The believer is friendly, and easy to befriend. And there is no good in the person who does not befriend and does not get befriended.
{ Musnad Imam Ahmad }
I just came back from Austria yesterday. It was a wonderful journey. I never thought myself would travel to Europe especially all by myself. This had been a real travel. Not just a vacation.
Before reaching Austria, I've been thinking about how life would be as a Muslim traveling in Europe. I feel really lucky to have been sent to Jordan to further my study in Medicine. Practicing Islam has been very easy in Jordan as it is a Muslims country.
Mosques are everywhere. No doubts when eating. and so on...
In Europe, it'd been quite a new experience. You can't expect to find any prayer room in public. If any, it would be the prayer room for Christians. I mean, it's like a church.
Dogs are everywhere. So it's kind of doubtful to perform prayer in any public areas.
That was one thing.
Another thing is about foods.
It was quite tempting actually seeing seafood or chickens or lambs or any meats or even salads. I was being too careful in eating. As if all of their foods contain wine. Well you can't blame me, because that was what I saw on televisions. Europeans like to put some wine on any of their dishes. Even Martha Stewart put some wine in her salad. haha...
About 9 days in Austria, my main menu each time was breads. haha... I also brought some foods from Jordan. And luckily, I ought to find some Halal restaurants in Austria. They are usually Turkish restaurants with Kebab as their main menu. But still, you can't expect to just walk and suddenly found a Halal restaurant. It's not everywhere. I had to search on the internet for any Halal restaurants. haha...
The third aspect I would like to mention is about brotherhood in Islam. Ukhuwwah Islamiah. Or whatever you want to call it.
In my early journey in Austria, I kind of felt alone. I mean, it was like I was out there all by myself. There was nobody to refer to. Well don't misunderstand. Austrian people are very kind and helpful. But, it was like lacking of something.
In Salzbrug, I found Arabic words in a shop. It is indeed a shop owned by Arabs. And there was this feeling. It was like they are so close to me. The word is relieved. I don't know why. It was not like Austrian people are bad. To be true, they are wonderful people who are very friendly. But when I met any Muslims, there was this bond. It was different. We were like brothers. I got excited.
For all He has done to me, I'm very grateful for what I am.
It's true. Traveling is one of many ways to know people. And to realize how grateful we should be of ourselves.
I will try to upload some pictures here maybe next time. But it's not a promise though. huhu..
Thank you.
[ :: Abdullah :: Hidayat :: ME :: ] Thanks for everything. It really was an exciting journey :)
NOTA : aku memang malas nak cari template lain. oke ape wallpaper flickr ni.hua3~
Mungkin agak lewat. Tapi tak mengapa, orang jawa cakap better late than never. Jadi ingin la aku ucapkan Selamat Hari Raya Aidiladha 1430H untuk semua umat Islam. Kullu 3am waantum bikheir, kata orang arab kat sini.
Secara keseluruhannya, aku agak berpuas hati dengan Adha kali ini. Memang tak tipu. Macam-macam benda aku buat. hehe..Anak saudara aku datang jordan pun aku terlupa. Tak jumpa pun. haha..
Beberapa hari sebelum raya, aku dah setuju untuk tolong HILMI dalam lakonan dia untuk persembahan dewan nanti. ROZAILI, HARIZ, DANIAL malah MALIK pun turun padang. Memang kelam-kabut la kitorang dengan masa yang singkat tambah pula dengan masalah-masalah dalaman yang timbul. Lebih terharu lagi, Pengarah Program (bahagian dewan), HIDAYAT dan FAIZ yang tiba-tiba ada kat situ boleh pula turut serta berbincang segala sampai lewat pagi. Pagi esok nak kelas pukul 8.15 ni. Boleh pula tidur lewat.
[Hilmi dalam mood mengarah]
Dalam masa yang sama, aku turut terlibat dalam program Tautan Adha BKPJJ. Nak sebut juga, Pengarah Program bak kata orang. Amnya, aku seronok jadi bos. Yela, arah-arah orang je, buat kerja sikit. haha... Kira puas hati la. IBRAHIM pun turut serta jadi biro persegaran. Aku cuba juga ajak MUHAMMAD, tapi ada hal lain katanya. Tak mengapa, aku memang faham semua orang banyak tanggungjawab.
Nak aku sebut, FAIQ dengan BKASJ nya. JAQ, FADZLI dan HADI dengan KMKJ pula. TUAN dengan PR nya. ARIF pula setiausaha permai juga biro program untuk program dewan nanti. DZIYA si biro publisiti. MURSYID sibuk menguruskan perihal ahli-ahli PERMAI yang nak berkorban. AZZAM pembantu setia untuk majlis dewan, juga masih dalam mood debate dia.haha...
Lepas habis periksa Genetics Lab, SYAMIL pula telefon aku. Nak minta tolong jadi driver die rupanya. Sebab dengar perkataan kereta, terus setuju. haha... Kesian HILMI ditinggalkan begitu sahaja. Maka aku pun bertukar bos. Daripada HILMI, ke SYAMIL pula.
Sejak hari pertama lagi, memang rancak aku pandu kereta sewa tu. Ulang-alik dari ladang ke tempat melapah. Angkat pula daging-daging dari tempat melapah ke rumah akhawat. Lepas tu, nak agihkan ke rumah-rumah pula. Memang gaya transporter la aku kiranya.Terharu sekali bila dapat lihat depan mata macam mana lembu, kambing dan unta disembelih. Dan Alhamdulillah, aku dapat tunaikan ibadah korban tahun ni. Lembu pun lembu la. Itu yang paling murah. hoho~
[orang sibuk melapah, boleh plak sempat pose]
Hari raya pertama dan kedua, sama sahaja kerja aku. Ulang-alik ke sini ke sana. Takda nya nak berkelesa-kelesa sini-sana. Pemandu sepenuh masa. Banyak masa di ladang. LUQMAN, AFNAN dan ASYRAF pun tolong melapah di ladang. HARIZ pula jurugambar ekslusif. haha...Hari raya ketiga pula, sekali lagi aku berasa bertuah sebab dapat ziarah kawasan kem pelarian Palestin berdekatan balad Irbid. Kalau FAWWAZ, HIDAYAT, HASHEMI dan ABDULLAH ke sana dengan projek Ekspedisi Hati ke Hati, kami pula rombongan lain. Aku, IKHWAN, AMIN dan SYAMIL. Alhamdulillah, kami dapat sampaikan daging-daging kambing, lembu juga unta. Berkilo-kilo juga tu rasanya. Terharu sangat dapat ziarah markaz mereka dan juga markaz anak-anak yatim di Markaz Taqwa.
[sempat bgambo depan markaz anak yatim]
Majlis dewan malam tu pula. Aku puas hati juga la. Seronok juga layan lakonan arahan HILMI tu. Budak-budak 2nd year termasuk pengarah lakonan sendiri turut berlakon dek tak cukup tenaga yang sanggup berkorban untuk lakonan semudah tu. Teringat aku masa majlis adha tahun lepas di dewan yang sama. Susah nak nampak rakan-rakan batch aku untuk duduk tenang di kerusi penonton layan majlis sambil gelak-gelak tengok teater atas pentas. Yang belakang tabirnya, yang berlakonnya, yang jadi ketua biro ke sini ke sana, yang persegaran bekerja di dewan makan (ape ntah nama dewan) tak masuk dewan Al-Kindi langsung.
FAIZ yang duduk sebelah aku sempat bisik, "Dapat juga aku duduk jadi penonton kat bawah tahun ni."
Oke la. Majlis dah lepas. Semua perkara da selesai pun. Alhamdulillah, aku syukur sangat-sangat banyak betul peluang yang aku dapat tahun ni. Boleh aku kata, tugas sebagai driver meluaskan lagi peluang aku untuk turut serta terlibat bekerja bersama-sama mereka yang bertungkus-lumus memastikan program berjalan lancar.
Ucapan TAHNIAH dan TERIMA KASIH buat semua yang terlibat sama ada secara langsung atau tidak dalam membantu mengendalikan program adha tahun ini.
SELAMAT HARI RAYA AIDILADHA 1430H كل عام وانتم بخير
p/s akhirnya update juga blog ni lepas 2 bulan coma
I don't have the best of everything But I try my best to make best of everything, to be glad of everything, and to be grateful of every single thing in this life
[ in a train - Paris :D ]
