Tuesday, September 25, 2012

the pretender

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

No one’s gonna wait for you.
So do it now, do it right now.
Don’t waste a minute on the darkness
And the pity sitting in your mind.

So here I am. Sitting in front of my desk. A coffee-filled mug at my right hand side. Fingers on the built-in laptop’s keyboard. Feeling like a professional writer. Trying to put on words to construct sentences that are readable and understandable. At the same time, I always wonder of who I’m writing to. Myself, I suppose.

It’s a semi-miracle (I just made that word up) that my laptop is on my desk. I usually have it on my little table beside my bed. Yes, I do that. I always use my laptop while sitting or lying or rolling on my broken bed where I pretend to be comfortable and in relax state while I’m not. I have to change my pose (or way of sitting/lying/rolling) every few minutes because of numbness and sometimes my spine actually aches. This always reminds me of the reason why people have desk.

Logging onto my blogger account, I’m not really surprised of the changes that they’ve made. I left this account for over a year. I wasn’t really having the writer’s block, because I’m not really a writer for that matter. I’m only a normal person pretending to be a good writer. Ah ha! Oh by the way, I like this new blogger. It's less crazy. Ok I don't know why I said that.

I feel chatty today. Or felt, whatever. I’m not a chatty person for that matter. I mentioned this couple of times in my previous posts which were like few years back. :| I forgot the reason why I stopped blogging for a while. Erm, I could be busy. Yeah, that could be it. I’m not sure. Oh I forgot to mention that cliché crap people always say;

(and it's been a boring year)

Hell yeah! Back to being chatty, I’m not really a conversationalist. I always avoid people to secure myself from any chatting attempts. Yep, that’s not a cool thing to do. I feel like that’s the absolute reason why my Arabic language skill is like being held back while others are getting better and better every time I see them. But on the other side, I mean the good side of it, I like to believe that I become an independent man because of that behavior. Yep, I’m a self-proclaimed independent man!

See, I went to Italy all by myself. I'm independent right?

Do you know that feeling when you have so many thoughts playing around in your mind? At that moment, you feel like your head’s going to explode with that words symphony going around inside your cranium. You feel like you need to speak those words out. Just let them out of your heads. Or at least, you need a pen and a paper so you can write all that down. You feel so inspired to give your thoughts about so many things happening around you. That actually happened to me today.

That was when I remember that I actually have an abandoned dusty blog. So I went home hoping that I could throw all those thoughts onto this pity blog. But I actually ended up doing something else. And by the time I remember that I had this writing thing I must do, those thoughts just magically disappeared and I was like, “What did I want to write about again?”

So here I am. Sitting in front of my desk. My made-in-China Paris souvenir mug is empty now. I’m out of words.

What do I expect from this post? I’m not quite sure. But I hope this won’t be the only post for the next one year.

Oh by the way, I met Ingrid Michaelson while I was in Singapore few weeks ago. Hell yeah I did!

Head out any further,
and you might just forget how.
You’ve gotta come back down.

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